Yerba Mate

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF THE YERBA MATE

Although simple and informal, the yerba mate circle has its rules. True commandments, which must be respected by all. If you are a beginner or are rediscovering the habit, look at these related points with a good dose of humor:

1 – DO NOT ASK TO PUT SUGAR IN THE YERBA MATE

The gaucho learns, since a little boy, why the yerba mate is also called bitter mate or, more intimately, only bitter. But if you are from other places, even knowing, you may think it is too bitter and commit the greatest sacrilege that anyone can imagine in this piece of Brazil: asking for sugar. You can add water, exotic herbs, cane, fruits, cocaine, feldspar, dollar, etc… but never sugar. The gaucho may have all the defects in the world, but he does not deserve to hear such a request. Therefore, tche, if the yerba mate seems too bitter, do not hesitate, ask for a coke with a straw. You’ll feel much better.

2 – DO NOT SAY THAT THE YERBA MATE IS ANTI-HYGIENIC

You may find it unhygienic to put your mouth where everyone puts it. Of course it is. But you don’t have the right to utter such a blasphemy when it comes to yerba mate. I repeat: ask for a coke with a straw. The straw is pure as spout water (there may be fecal coliforms and staphylococci inside the bottle, not on it).

3 – DO NOT SAY THAT THE YERBA MATE IS TOO HOT

If everyone is drinking the yerba mate without complaining about the temperature of the water, it is because it is perfectly tolerable by normal people. If you are not a normal person, assume your frills (if you want to cure yourself, we recommend a visit to the Bagé analyst). If, however, you judge yourself perfectly equal to the others, do the following: go to Paraguay. You’ll love the yerba mate there.

4 – DO NOT LEAVE THE YERBA MATE IN HALF

Despite the great similarity between the yerba mate and the pipe of peace, there are fundamental differences. Like the pipe of peace, each one takes a swallow and passes it on, the yerba mate does not. You must drink all the water served until you hear the snoring of the empty gourd. By the way, read the commandment below.

5 – DO NOT BE EMBARRASSED BY THE “SNORE” AT THE END OF THE YERBA MATE

If, at the end of the yerba mate, without wanting you make the pump “snore,” do not be ashamed. It’s okay, no one will judge you rude. This business of sucking without making noise is valid for the coke with a straw that you can even drink with the little finger raised (doing a pose).

6 – DO NOT MESS UP WITH THE PUMP

The yerba mate pump may very well clog up, either because of itself, the yerba mate or who prepared the yerba mate. If that happens, you have every right to complain. But please, do not mess up with the pump. Talk to whoever passed you the yerba mate or with whom passed the gourd to you. But do not mess up with the pump, do not mess up with the pump and, above all, do not mess up with the pump.

7 – DO NOT ALTER THE ORDER THAT THE YERBA MATE IS SERVED

The yerba mate circle works like a dairyman horse. The gourd goes from hand to hand, always in the same order. To enter the circle, any time works, but after entering, always wait your turn and do not want to favor anyone, even if she’s the most beautiful girl in the state.

8 – DO NOT CONDEMN THE HOUSE OWNER FOR TAKING THE FIRST MATE

If you think the house owner is rude for preparing the yerba mate and for drinking the first mate himself, know that the rude person is you. The worst mate is the first, and whoever takes it, is doing you a favor.

9 – DO NOT SLEEP WITH THE GOURD IN YOUR HANDS

Drinking yerba mate alone is an excellent way of meditating on the things of life. You drink yerba mate without haste, pondering… And sometimes you surprise yourself even imagining that the gourd is not gourd, but the hot brown breast of that cheeky chinoca that appeared in Gaudêncio’s ball… Now, to drink yerba mate in a circle is very different. Here, the fundamental thing is not to meditate, but to integrate with the circle. In a yerba mate circle you talk, you discuss, you scold, in the end, you participate of a community in confraternization. But this participation can not be taken to the extreme of making you forget the gourd that is in your hand. Talk as much as you want, but do not forget to drink your mate, because the other folks are waiting.

10 – DO NOT SAY THAT THE YERBA MATE CAUSES THROAT CANCER

It may even cause. But it will not be you, the first time you pick up the gourd, that will say, with an air of understanding, that the yerba mate is carcinogenic. If you accepted the mate they offered you, drink it and forget the cancer. If you can not forget, do the following: ask for a coke with a straw, that it… etc… etc…

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